sakei's space

前：耽误了这么久，经历了这么多，（狗都看了，人都自杀了，还有。。。）总于继续写了。。

一大清早，就坐火车去稻荷，看稻荷神社也（狐狸大神！收获之神）到了那，还真早呢，店铺都未开张，纪念品店影儿也不见，参拜了主殿之后。。。。怪了，怎么没见鼎鼎大名的奉纳神社门啊？应该有很多个啊？慢！有个后山，走！

爬山中，。。。

还是爬山中。。。

还在爬山中。。。

哇，怎么那门没完没了啊？

对了，我们看到奉纳门了，真的好多呢！一路到山上都有，其实是各行各业人士奉上的，想不到，日本可把Web 2.0精神搬来现实世界呢！还变了明胜地呢！还有，好多日本人在晨运哦，而且好亲切，与我们互道早安。。　

上了半山，时间差不多了，就下山去了，没看到神迹，狐狸大仙，请恕我们不坚定的意志力，见笑了。。

下到镇上，店铺才陆陆续续开铺，吃了好吃的番薯煎（应该是吧？老板介绍的，不知名食品，因为。。。不会读！），各类饼等，就回京都啦！

哇！怎么那么多人啊？还好，我们是要回酒店而已，巴士地图在手中，万无一失，找到了较冷门的巴士线！问题解决！嘻嘻！

离开酒店，二条城，我来啦！不过，这之前，到Nishiki 市场看看，下车，北边第一条街，疑？怪了，怎么只看到一条普通小街啊？问了警察叔叔（这名称，冒汗。。。），对啊？没错啊？啊！！！被骗来了！！

不过，意外收获~ 姐买了浴衣(Yukatta)呢！意外进入一间店，老板娘好热情哦，不断解释，帮忙找适合的，可惜我姐不会听，老板娘看我懂些，竟然要我翻译给姐听。。。汗....还第一次用日本话杀价呢。。。 老板娘，好样的！

好啦，二条城，我来了！ 幕府呢.. hm hm hm... 嗯。。。。不怎么样呢。。。。不如想象中那么宏伟，壮观，我想。。。 我还是“好大喜功”的人吧？（去了神州，觉得日本地太有限了。。。:P)

不过，还不错啦，至少不是庙了。。。:P 下一站~ 金阁寺！ 哇~还真的好“金”啊，加上它的倒影，塔顶的凤凰。。。不错不错~ 还看了一个百年像船的盆栽，疑？没啦？还真的看那金阁寺而已，还有，原来不能进去的~~

还有时间喔，就到了行程外的龙隐寺，名字有气派吧？进去。。。“莲花”池？不，沼泽池？？？？？分水石。。。分泥石??? 还没看重点区。。。到了！世界遗产--石头花园！

凝视。。。。

凝视。。。。

凝视。。。。

凝视。。。。

凝视。。。。

也不是七（七吧？）个石头？看不出所然来。。。。。。。。。。。。。。七个石头虽各不相同，但也不至于列入奇石之列。。。 算了，认了吧！我没慧根。。。。（失落。。。更主要是。。。入门票很贵啊！）江湖上的朋友们，若自认与众不同，骨骼精奇，就去赏石吧，寻常人士如我，还是 留下钱来吃章鱼烧比较好。。。

好啦，‘莲‘隐寺看完了，是时候回了。。。

嗯，赶上较早的新干线，不必那么赶了，不然赶不上酒店打烊时间，流落街头就惨咯。。。

好啦，酒店到了，睡咯！！！

 Suicide, has been existing among human as one of choice of solutions since ancient time. In past, when a king's servant think they have failed their emperor/ ruler/ king, committing suicide after their failure would be seen as loyality towards emperor. To commoners, committing suicide to avoid humiliation from ruler/slaver/ etc, is  considered as a noble and respectable act. In war, ending own life instead of being captives of enemies are brave and saint.

In present, suicide has been condemned by the society, being described as a cowardly act, to avoid from problem and troubles. There are some countries, committing suicide violates the law(which to me, it encourages the person to make sure he/she dies when she commit suicide. else will get sued!) All religions forbids their believers to end their own lives, claiming it is unforgiven by god and the soul will be sent to hell (wonder how many heroes have been sent to hell. ^^) Yet, regardless of efforts from all parties, suicide still remain a social problem among us. (and even threat to our safety - suicide bombing..) In Japan, there's a minister who kill himself when his mischief is found, with reason "being too ashamed to japan citizen"(wondering y dun he kill himself when he commit it, but after being discovered by public).

Have you ever consider committing suicide? I wonder does this happen to everyone, but suicide does strike and dominate my brain b4, during my teenager age. However, it is not treated as a solution for any problems i faced, but just feel like leaving this world. I'm not sure why, but I feel unwanted by the world, and has no roles to the world at that time, thinking that it's the same with or without me. Probably it's due to rebellious thoughts, thus rejecting the whole world.

Sadly, the thoughts do not leave me after i reach 20's. Lately, it strikes back especially during solitude moment. Again, I feel unattached to the world, and It seemed to me tat I have done whatever I wanna do in this world, it's ok for me to move on.. to the next world, if there's any. Perhaps, it's just like any game I have. When I get bored with the game, I might continue playing it, but will be able to stop it anytime I want, without caring what's the progress now. What's different from the game world is there will never be "New Game" selection or "Load Game"

anyway, Since I'm typing now, guess i not yet commit suicide yet. ^^ (sound scary, as this blog entry seem to be forecasting I will be committing suicide soon)

From what I felt, the reasons of ending own life might vary from person to person. To me, it's merely want to end the current life I have now (too bored, no future expectation, not looking forward to anyting....) , or perhaps gaining attention from others( as i felt unattached ma. so if someone do care bout me, then I'm attached to something here at least :P ), but not running away from problem(except u treat "boredom" and "hate to live" as a problem la), as to me, problem will always be able to solve, as long as there's a will.

hm, last but not least, I dunno how to end my blog here, but since my thoughts are getting messier now, Guess I will stop here till I have something in my mind, or feel like rearranging this blog. Oh ya, again, I'm not forecasting my death here ya, so don't ask me when will i die. Afterall, I doubt I will plan a date to die, everyday seem the same to me ma. anyway, surely not 8 August, olympic ma! dun wanna bring any negative effect to it (thinking too highly of urself  d la. duh!)

k la. good bye! the real world!!(i mean i go to gaming, not dying!)